I am not a naturally nice person. Those that know me well can tell you that it is a constant battle for me to keep myself from saying something that I proably won't, but should regret later. One thing that does come easily to me is telling the truth. Something I've learned is that sometimes nice and truth don't mix. I tried mixing them and this was the end result:
Coworker: I never feel a very warm welcome when I come downstairs to the lit (litigation) department.
Me: Oh that's too bad.
What I'm really thinking: Probably because you're an awful human being.
Coworker: No I'm serious. I don't feel like anybody really cares for me on this floor.
Me: Oh I'm sure that's not true.
What I'm really thinking: If you weren't such a bad person people might like you more.
Coworker: No really, I'm not kidding. Tell me Kacey, do you consider me a friend?
Me: (using what I consider to be superhuman levels of restraint at this point)Sure.
What I'm really thinking: NOOOO!
Coworker: I'm not joking around. If you were at home telling a story to your husband that involved me would you call me your friend?
Me: Probably not.
What I'm really thinking: No. Not only would I not call you my friend, I would probably use lots of descriptive and possibly inappropriate words to explain how awful I feel you truly are.
Coworker: See now that offends me. It hurts my feelings that you wouldn't consider me a friend and it bothers me even more because I don't think you're alone in the way you feel.
Me: Oh my opinion doesn't matter, and I'm sure I'm alone.
What I'm really thinking: I'm not alone. I checked.
Coworker: No, I don't think you are. I've noticed that I am just not well received by this department.
Me: I guess you probably don't want to come around much then.
What I'm really thinking: Please don't come back into my office ever again.
I really did try to be polite, but something inside of me HAS to tell the truth. Please take note that I while I'm willing to attempt kindness, honestly always wins out with me. If you remember this simple fact, you might help both of us avoid an awkward conversation.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
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